I should clear something up. I do not hate women. Though I find they are a great topic for compliant, that is simply due to my not understanding a single one of them. But then again I could really say the same for much of life. I in fact love women, have loved women, and will love women and will hopefully find at least one who will love me back. But speaking of love, as a topic I have thought much about.
What is love? a question that seems to plague our generation terribly, though I am sure every one has dealt with it, how do you define it and what does it do, why does it exist and how, or does it really exist at all, or is it just a figment of our imaginations disguised as an answer? But I can say that I think most people have it all wrong. I know this is a bold and unfair statement, but ill make my case and you don’t have to believe a word I say,.. So same agreement as normal then (not that I don't care what you think, because I do, just as I care that you read). I spent a couple of years asking people what they thought love was my senior year of high school, I thought I was in love, but wanted to know what it was. Most people told me it was a feeling; in fact almost everyone told me it was a feeling. This seemed like a good answer, the movies make it look that way, but feelings are so over rated, I can burn with anger one minute, and then burst into tears the next. Feelings are unstable and volatile, yet there are stories of "unending love" something that would be nearly imposable for a feeling. Later I got the opportunity to talk to a bunch of people who had been married for years, mostly teachers but also some family friends. I think just about everyone said something about wanting to kill their spouse at one point in time or another, and all admitted to having arguments, disagreements, and that no relationship could ever be perfect, but that love or commitment, or the fear of divorce got them through. This made me do a lot more thinking, how can one love, and at times hate the other person. The simple conclusion then was that love was in fact not a feeling. Also most of the married said that after a couple of years the limelight wears off and you realize your just two screwed up selfish people who are stuck in a legally binding agreement. It took me a while but my final and still standing decision on the matter is that love is like I said not a feeling, but rather a choice. None of the spouses I talked to did actually kill their partners. Love is a choice, a daily choice, a choice to care and not give up, regardless of one's feelings. This may make love sound foolish, but to that effect I think it is. Any choice that is made with the intent of being permanent could be called foolish for one never knows what the future may bring. sometimes love, or the choice, takes a lot of effort, people disagree, argue, fight, people will always be two separate beings, even after marriage you will never understand the other person fully, nor can you, but you can keep trying. I think that is why love is so hard to grasp, and why it sounds imaginary, as long as we think its a feeling, we will be wrong, and as much as a person can promise to never give up, today is not tomorrow, and that is what makes love so beautiful, is that if you stick with it, how you feel and what mood your in and how much money is in the bank or even who you vote for will not change the devotion you have for another. I raise my hand now and stand for my role call as a hopeless romantic, but this is what I think, and because of it, I think love does exist and can work, but it’s probably the hardest thing one can ever try.
Pages
▼
Monday, September 29, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
The Three-Dimensional Irony
Yes, another post about women and how I can't find any (notice I did not say "get any" for I am more interested in finding them). In a debate with my new friend WolfCounsel a three fold plan of failure was exposed which may in fact be the heel of my Achilles (... that or I am the heel and life is the Achilles... more to come on that later). The three-dimensional irony is thus:
Postulate 1. Women will not date complete strangers.
- This is because being a complete stranger and asking out a woman automatically shows her you are desperate and pathetic. Once they know this, they understand you are only asking out of pathetic desperation which is no way to treat a woman (the proper methods are a nine-and-a-half foot pole and prolonged psychological warfare... one must fight dirty for all is fair in love and war, and this is both).
Postulate 2. Women will judge your dating eligibility within seconds of first meeting you.
- This means that your window of opportunity for impressing them just enough and in the right way is small. I have heard that this is done within the first five minutes... But you have to know them and not be a complete stranger to get around postulate 1.
Postulate 3. Once you get to know a woman and become a friend, there is no going back EVER.
- This is what occurs five minutes after meeting a woman who you then spend time with later down the road. This is a definite outcome unless somehow you were deemed eligible for dating (less than a .005% chance based on the perfect conception of what a man should be)
So as you can see, unless you make that 1/2000 chance on the first try, or their perception is impaired, or you are trying really really hard (which more often than not ends up like P.1.) you will fail. All in all these rules are ridiculous compared to the standards that men have for women. Some men look at the body, but could care less for the mind, some look to the mind and ignore the body, and some well, just don't care... Guys aren't to picky, and those of us who are smart know enough to realize that when it comes to women we are dumb and normally wrong... About that... Everything stated prior...
Postulate 1. Women will not date complete strangers.
- This is because being a complete stranger and asking out a woman automatically shows her you are desperate and pathetic. Once they know this, they understand you are only asking out of pathetic desperation which is no way to treat a woman (the proper methods are a nine-and-a-half foot pole and prolonged psychological warfare... one must fight dirty for all is fair in love and war, and this is both).
Postulate 2. Women will judge your dating eligibility within seconds of first meeting you.
- This means that your window of opportunity for impressing them just enough and in the right way is small. I have heard that this is done within the first five minutes... But you have to know them and not be a complete stranger to get around postulate 1.
Postulate 3. Once you get to know a woman and become a friend, there is no going back EVER.
- This is what occurs five minutes after meeting a woman who you then spend time with later down the road. This is a definite outcome unless somehow you were deemed eligible for dating (less than a .005% chance based on the perfect conception of what a man should be)
So as you can see, unless you make that 1/2000 chance on the first try, or their perception is impaired, or you are trying really really hard (which more often than not ends up like P.1.) you will fail. All in all these rules are ridiculous compared to the standards that men have for women. Some men look at the body, but could care less for the mind, some look to the mind and ignore the body, and some well, just don't care... Guys aren't to picky, and those of us who are smart know enough to realize that when it comes to women we are dumb and normally wrong... About that... Everything stated prior...
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Where have all the single-ones gone?
I have something to complain about, women. I have nothing against them in practice, and no more against them in principle than I do against most of humanity, however being male there is one major flaw I have found during my time at college. None of them are actuially single. Now I am a single man who has been outside of the dating lifestyle for several years now (bad experiences, don't ask) and have decided to re-enter the world of the not-so-single. The problem I have found is that no women are actuially single. They may say that they are, and they may not be dating anyone at the moment, but regardless they are emotionally attached to someone, be it an ex-lover, a guy who does not know they exist, or their perfect ideal guy who probably does not exist in the real world. It seems to me that by this time in all of our lives we have been around long enough to have played the dating game several times (I'm not sure if its more like that wheel show with Pat Sajak or Russian Roulette, but random chance is definitely a factor) and have experienced the good, the bad and the ugly of what people are. The problem is, and this problem affects all people, we latch on to what we want to believe in and ignore the reality around us in favor of our own "better" fantasy. I suppose I can't entirely pin this one on women, as I am guilty also, but seriously. Most of the women I know are right now either engaged, already taken, or already mentally taken leaving only a handful that are actuially single and of that group I could count on less than one hand the number who are single and open to dating... Its a frustrating place to be in, and I guess based on it my final message to myself and all other twenty-something college women is, LIVE IN THE REAL WORD! I was guilty of this at one time but I however had a legitimate excuse having concentrated my college learning in folklore and mythology... And I lie to myself a lot... As an end note I have been told that it is an odd law of physics that single females are invisible to single males and vice versa (courtesy AMH), who'da guessed?
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Life is like a bag of tacos...
Recently I heard the wise words, "Life is like a bag of tacos, You reach in looking for a supreme and get a regular." Now this statement is just absurd enough to be true, and just true enough to be funny. Aside from its "Forest Gump" ripoff and its odd selection of the food tacos and container of a bag, I found it fresh enough to write about. It seems to me that it fits in quite well with the dramedy (word used with limited permission from JWR) that is life. And I must admit that somewhere between the absurdly ironically hilarious, and the sickeningly sweet sadness hover the songs that are our lives, and like all songs beautiful and exciting, when studied in the realm of the physical are little more than breaths of air, waves, and ripples.
Every situation in life is new and different. Never believe that you can get used to circumstances, routines or ways of handling life, for that in itself is a contradiction in terms. Life is not to be handled, it is to be lived and it will never fail to impress by how it finds new and interesting ways to mix things up and throw hurdles and curve balls your way, and the worst part is it won't give you running shoes or a bat before it does you just have to learn as you go.
Now for a time of narcissistic reflection. I have been in the process of discovering my own writing habits over the past few years and am coming to the conclusion that I am a "close writer." That is to say, just as a close talker invades personal space and makes the other participating conversationalists uneasy, as much I do in writing. Often picking topics that are awkward or uneasy subject wise or saying things in a questionable way I cross the lines. These crossed personal boundaries often include but are not limited to telling people that I have romantic feelings for them, or voicing what could be improved in a person's personality (the latter only occurs when asked first but still produces a similar result, but then again I do not need to justify myself to you). C'est la vie...
Every situation in life is new and different. Never believe that you can get used to circumstances, routines or ways of handling life, for that in itself is a contradiction in terms. Life is not to be handled, it is to be lived and it will never fail to impress by how it finds new and interesting ways to mix things up and throw hurdles and curve balls your way, and the worst part is it won't give you running shoes or a bat before it does you just have to learn as you go.
Now for a time of narcissistic reflection. I have been in the process of discovering my own writing habits over the past few years and am coming to the conclusion that I am a "close writer." That is to say, just as a close talker invades personal space and makes the other participating conversationalists uneasy, as much I do in writing. Often picking topics that are awkward or uneasy subject wise or saying things in a questionable way I cross the lines. These crossed personal boundaries often include but are not limited to telling people that I have romantic feelings for them, or voicing what could be improved in a person's personality (the latter only occurs when asked first but still produces a similar result, but then again I do not need to justify myself to you). C'est la vie...
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
The Law of Equity
One thing that everyone who has experienced life knows is that "life is not fair." Now I wish to challenge this statement by presenting a law to the contrary. Namely the "Law of Equity." This law currently has three postulates:
1. Once all things are taken into account every situation is fair.
2. Anything that seems unfair is actuially fair but appears to be otherwise due to the limited scope of the observer.
3. As humans we can never know fully the scope of circumstances that have or will conspire to balance a situation.
Call it karma, luck or fate, but the more I live the more I want to believe that all life consists of is random chance, yet the more I think the more I understand that in context things happen for a reason and every action causes a reaction that once fully calculated is equal in magnitude.
I realize that many may disagree with this post, and although I wrote it, I do not agree with it. If you look carefully you'll find the flaw in the argument is its circular unprovable logic.
1. Once all things are taken into account every situation is fair.
2. Anything that seems unfair is actuially fair but appears to be otherwise due to the limited scope of the observer.
3. As humans we can never know fully the scope of circumstances that have or will conspire to balance a situation.
Call it karma, luck or fate, but the more I live the more I want to believe that all life consists of is random chance, yet the more I think the more I understand that in context things happen for a reason and every action causes a reaction that once fully calculated is equal in magnitude.
I realize that many may disagree with this post, and although I wrote it, I do not agree with it. If you look carefully you'll find the flaw in the argument is its circular unprovable logic.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Depression, Where are you?
The depths and darkness that resides in the souls of men, how well I know you my friend, depression. The gestures of the past that were never enough wear on me. The failures in places where I tried the hardest. Loves lost, opportunities missed, questions unanswered and statements that return only the echo of my own voice. What is depression? Sometimes the harshest pains come from those ever-present reminders of the past that cannot be discarded. A trinket on a shelf, covered in dust may contain within itself a world of stories long past. The item itself is of no value, and the memories are painful, but the connection between the remembered and the physically present creates meaning. Memories make us what we are and who we are, the past is an ever present ally, or a ruthless hunter, but either way it is like our shadow, a thing that cannot be escaped and is unique to each one. Possibly this is why the trinket stays on the shelf rather than being flung into the trash, perhaps this is why the reminder of pain is held on to. They remind us that we are human, and it is in their idiosyncratic secrets that our lives are found. For remember, we also keep the trophies of our hard earned accomplishments mingled among the mix.
If I had to give depression a geographic location I would say it resides near the state of denial, and probably within the Texas state boarders. Not that I have anything against Texas, but if you have ever been down I20 then you know what I mean. It is a mildly pleasant place, void of almost all life except plants that try to kill you and creatures that share that goal. The landscape is beautiful, but barren and lonely. It stretches on for miles, and along the way you might pass one other person over the course of a hundred miles of travel. But the fascinating thing about depression is that it shares characteristics with loneliness in that one can be surrounded by people and be alone.
If I had to give depression a geographic location I would say it resides near the state of denial, and probably within the Texas state boarders. Not that I have anything against Texas, but if you have ever been down I20 then you know what I mean. It is a mildly pleasant place, void of almost all life except plants that try to kill you and creatures that share that goal. The landscape is beautiful, but barren and lonely. It stretches on for miles, and along the way you might pass one other person over the course of a hundred miles of travel. But the fascinating thing about depression is that it shares characteristics with loneliness in that one can be surrounded by people and be alone.
Introductions
Let me begin by thanking you for reading even this far. As some of you know me, I am Rambley-Dave and intend to live up to that title. For those of you who do not know me, I may be better well known as Anonymous. I am a twenty-something college student from Middle America swimming though life against the current. I am a nerd, a gamer, and a pretentious jerk. It's nice to finally meet you, screen to face.
My Freedonia
These are the secrets of my life as I live them out loud. The land of my thoughts which is a place that is not a place located in this space between spaces. Here I will ramble, here I will spin, and here I will hide my feelings within. Welcome to My Freedonia.