Sittin' here, drinking throwback, eatin' PB & J, and a small bag of chips. Some days are better than others. I have yet to be called back by the tutoring position. I am haunted by the past and the promises broken. I was commended yesterday on my choice to forgo the pay I get for the weekend work I do, and it was all I could do to not interrupt and ask them to stop complementing me on how good of a person I am. I am not a good person. I just made a decision that was logical, others need the money more than me... But I still need money to live. Just because I'm the bitter nice guy and I was foolish enough to put others first (others who will never repay the favor) does not mean I'm an inspiration to others. Rather I am a fool for giving up what I have. Nice guys always loose. I have never found an exception to this rule, and the corollary is that once you are a nice guy, you really cant ever go back. Your only choice is to be trampled by the world and always loose. But in one area I have decided to fight. To fight a loosing battle yet to fight none the less. I will win a worthy bride... ewwww, and I just stuck my hand in my sandwich and got jelly everywhere... I guess at least its not as bad as my drinking problem...
...Yes, today it is all about me... and for good reason as seen here...
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