Lucifer - latin: lux, lucis = light; fero, ferre = to bear or carry.
I wish you enlightenment this holiday season, and thus I shall play lucifer to the darkness of your mind. This time it is to help you to "know your ritual roots." Namely, Christmas. Christmas has for centuries now been a time to celebrate the birth of the Savior. But in recent years it was found that a possible mathematical error may have placed the day of Christmas (dec. 25, 0001) off by not only the day, but also the month and even the year. Now do not get me wrong, before I go off on a tirade remember that I am just sying this to inform, and not to endorse neo-paganism, satanism, or even the cult of the FSM.
So why do we celebrate on a misconceived day? Possibly the simplest answer is because it is convenient, or was at the time. History shows that when one religion or culture rises up against another, the stronger does one of two things, either absorbing and incorporating the lesser (roman mythology absorbed many greek myths which still causes confusion today. Ever heard of Hercules, or was it Heracles), or replacing it. When it comes to religions that are incompatible (compatable religions would generally be of the same type, such as two polytheistic religions that clash. id est, roman/greek, celtic/scandinavian, buddhism/tibetan buddhism and vedic hinduism/zoroastrianism in which each pare melds gods, lineages, belief structures, and heroes and originally were quite separate and different.), such as when Christianity dominated the majority of western europe, it chose to replace the existing traditions as to make the transition easier on the indigenous peoples (people hate it when you take holidays away from them... but if you change the name and keep the day they are less likely to revolt).
Originally the holiday celebrated in late december which was widely known to southern europe was Saturnalia, as one of the many roman legacy to europe (hey, when you own practically everything, your beliefs get spread around quite a bit). Which was probably the most likely candidate as a replaced holiday. However additionally this time of year is host to Samhain, an irish/celtic solstice celebration.
If you have any more questions about these holidays, or their origins... look them up yourself. Oh, and consider yourself enlightened and illuminated.
... see, the field of my college study does have practical applications... I can write blogs... (...cry...sniffle, sniffle)
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
The Original Traditional American Holiday Tale
---WARNING--- The following tale contains material that may not be suitable for children. This tale employs the use of violence, sex, drugs, nudity, vulgar language, rabid animals, racist stereotypes, hate crimes, historical inaccuracies, racial profiling, American consumerism, Santa clause, magic, witchcraft, warcraft, and other such devices that may not be appropriate for anyone in particular. If you find such things offensive by reading this you legally wave your ability to bring lawsuit against the writer, as well as any future, present, and past monetary compensation or assets you posses or gain.
Thats right, its that time of year again. Time for another OTAHT. This year children the tale begins in the year 2012 when Frosty the Snowman gets a hold of a time machine. You see kids, Frosty lives forever and every Christmas he re-forms like that guy in Terminator II. In 2012 Frosty goes back in time and takes with him the schematics for both a time machine and the microwave oven. Frosty chose to leave the year 2012 since he knew that the apocalypse was coming and Christ was about to return, and he feared the brimstone that would rain from the heavens and the lake of fire as he had not been good that year, as well as the fact that Jesus would probably abolish winter once he came to reign over the various religious sects of Christianity after publicly denouncing Scientology.
So Frosty went back in time to give his plans to a young bright child named Bill Gates who used the plans to make a cloning device that would only produce evil from its rusty metallic womb. This device was named Windows. Next Frosty went back in time again to find a boy named Steve Jobs, who he gave the design specs to windows to. Frosty knew that with these specs Jobs would be capable of inventing another similar device of even more concentrated evil known only by the secret acronym MAC that would be capable of reproducing in full the distilled embodiment of evil and magic that lead to the magic hat which Frosty himself wore.
With this new found power Frosty was finally able to replicate himself, not unlike the Borg but with snow, and he moved to the south pole to begin the buildup of a clone army with which he could destroy the republic. Frosty worked at cloning himself for many years which lead to a decrease in polar ice accumulation and speculation about global warming. But once the year 2007 rolled around again, Frosty was ready and once again employed his time machine to once and for all end his definite demise at the source.
The Frosty army traveled back to the year 0ad and sought out the Christ child, who was the only one who could permanently destroy him by unanimous vote to abolish winter. Frosty followed the very same star which led the wise men to the child. Once Frosty found the stable, he used his secret Power Rangers maneuver to combine each of his cloned army Frostys into one Über Frosty.
Über Frosty marched across the landscape of the middle east, crushing every inn and tavern he came across. But the Nativity characters had been expecting this and had armed themselves with missile-toe and big sticks. Frosty stepped on one wise man, but another used a holy hand grenade and took out a large portion of Über Frosty's left leg. Frosty came back by making snowballs out of his own firmly packed flesh, and with these he decimated the shepherd offensive. The angels with flaming swords swooped in to protect their leader, melting holes in Über Frosty as they went, but Frosty's snowballs were to great for the winged messengers. Über Frosty swatted the angels out of the sky much like King Kong fought off biplanes, the fantastic four, and sputnik.
The ice machine of secular consumerism marched on and crushed Joseph with a fist full of snowy death. All of the commotion awoke the child, who like superman flew up out of his manger and punched through the heart of the great snow-beast. Baby Jesus fought like Yoda, spinning and flipping and flying, too small for Über Frosty to keep up with. But for all of his powers, Baby Jesus could not destroy the beast. Baby Jesus punched out one of Über Frosty's coal eyes, but the powers of the magician's top hat could not be undone.
With a powerful and lucky strike, Über Frosty knocked Baby Jesus through one side of the stone inn and out the other, but the baby had a trick left up his swaddling cloth. Baby Jesus came back to life and raised his chubby toddler hand saying "Stop! You do not belong in this time Über Frosty, I banish you to Walmart!" And with those words a dimensional rift to hell opened and swallowed Über Frosty whole. As he was struggling to escape his eternal doom to be forever depicted as a plastic light up lawn ornament, his hat fell off and blew away. Baby Jesus may have won this day, but rest assured Über Frosty would return with a vengeance.
And that kids is why we celebrate Christmas. Now I am off to hell... Err, I mean bed. Merry Christmas Everyone!
Thats right, its that time of year again. Time for another OTAHT. This year children the tale begins in the year 2012 when Frosty the Snowman gets a hold of a time machine. You see kids, Frosty lives forever and every Christmas he re-forms like that guy in Terminator II. In 2012 Frosty goes back in time and takes with him the schematics for both a time machine and the microwave oven. Frosty chose to leave the year 2012 since he knew that the apocalypse was coming and Christ was about to return, and he feared the brimstone that would rain from the heavens and the lake of fire as he had not been good that year, as well as the fact that Jesus would probably abolish winter once he came to reign over the various religious sects of Christianity after publicly denouncing Scientology.
So Frosty went back in time to give his plans to a young bright child named Bill Gates who used the plans to make a cloning device that would only produce evil from its rusty metallic womb. This device was named Windows. Next Frosty went back in time again to find a boy named Steve Jobs, who he gave the design specs to windows to. Frosty knew that with these specs Jobs would be capable of inventing another similar device of even more concentrated evil known only by the secret acronym MAC that would be capable of reproducing in full the distilled embodiment of evil and magic that lead to the magic hat which Frosty himself wore.
With this new found power Frosty was finally able to replicate himself, not unlike the Borg but with snow, and he moved to the south pole to begin the buildup of a clone army with which he could destroy the republic. Frosty worked at cloning himself for many years which lead to a decrease in polar ice accumulation and speculation about global warming. But once the year 2007 rolled around again, Frosty was ready and once again employed his time machine to once and for all end his definite demise at the source.
The Frosty army traveled back to the year 0ad and sought out the Christ child, who was the only one who could permanently destroy him by unanimous vote to abolish winter. Frosty followed the very same star which led the wise men to the child. Once Frosty found the stable, he used his secret Power Rangers maneuver to combine each of his cloned army Frostys into one Über Frosty.
Über Frosty marched across the landscape of the middle east, crushing every inn and tavern he came across. But the Nativity characters had been expecting this and had armed themselves with missile-toe and big sticks. Frosty stepped on one wise man, but another used a holy hand grenade and took out a large portion of Über Frosty's left leg. Frosty came back by making snowballs out of his own firmly packed flesh, and with these he decimated the shepherd offensive. The angels with flaming swords swooped in to protect their leader, melting holes in Über Frosty as they went, but Frosty's snowballs were to great for the winged messengers. Über Frosty swatted the angels out of the sky much like King Kong fought off biplanes, the fantastic four, and sputnik.
The ice machine of secular consumerism marched on and crushed Joseph with a fist full of snowy death. All of the commotion awoke the child, who like superman flew up out of his manger and punched through the heart of the great snow-beast. Baby Jesus fought like Yoda, spinning and flipping and flying, too small for Über Frosty to keep up with. But for all of his powers, Baby Jesus could not destroy the beast. Baby Jesus punched out one of Über Frosty's coal eyes, but the powers of the magician's top hat could not be undone.
With a powerful and lucky strike, Über Frosty knocked Baby Jesus through one side of the stone inn and out the other, but the baby had a trick left up his swaddling cloth. Baby Jesus came back to life and raised his chubby toddler hand saying "Stop! You do not belong in this time Über Frosty, I banish you to Walmart!" And with those words a dimensional rift to hell opened and swallowed Über Frosty whole. As he was struggling to escape his eternal doom to be forever depicted as a plastic light up lawn ornament, his hat fell off and blew away. Baby Jesus may have won this day, but rest assured Über Frosty would return with a vengeance.
And that kids is why we celebrate Christmas. Now I am off to hell... Err, I mean bed. Merry Christmas Everyone!
Addendum
It turns out that I need to add an addendum to some of my previous posts. If I ever posted about the Philosophy teacher who did not let me make up a test I missed, then I need to recant any negative thing I said and leave the topic with the fact that he is an awesome man. I got an email from him saying that he decided to change my grade in the class, which totally overkills my credits and not doubly ensures that I will be graduating. Although it is no longer needed at this point, it is still a great gesture and was totally unexpected on his part.
With that having been said, next I will share a heartwarming holiday story. So get out the hot-chocolate, and throw another log on the fire, cozy up with the loved ones and get ready for an original traditional american holiday tale.
With that having been said, next I will share a heartwarming holiday story. So get out the hot-chocolate, and throw another log on the fire, cozy up with the loved ones and get ready for an original traditional american holiday tale.
Monday, December 22, 2008
The Semi-Virtuous Path
Now upon consideration I found an oddity in a common idea of eastern philosophy. Most eastern mystical texts and mantras (I have taken courses specifically on eastern history, martial arts, and religion... and find such things fascinating so some spare time went into it too) are a proponent of finding balance and harmony in nature. They often teach this through rules and ideals of social order and personal conduct that lead to a greater reality. Now the odd thing is that half of the teachings promote balance and harmony, where the other half promote doing what is outlined as good versus that which is negative for the soul. I am speaking of the idea of a life lived on the virtuous path. Now such an idea rejects balance as there are two cycles in life, the virtuous path and the vicious path. These are nearly as simple and complicated as they sound, but the idea of living a virtuous life would seem to reject balance. What I am saying is that although some argue that the unenlightened (being everyone reading this who is not Buddha, the Dalai lama, or Confucius) are only capable of living a semi-virtuous path, Why not promote this as the true path, the way that splits the hairs and rides on the knife's edge. Basic philosophy would argue that the most profitable thing for a lone individual to do is only that which provides him/her with advantages. Whereas the most profitable thing for an individual in society to do is follow the common rules of society in respect to giving up some advantages for a mutual good. Why not shoot for both? I am suggesting that for optimum success as a person if one took advantage of only what profited him/her and gave up to society what society can give back better, then we might end up both being fair and competitive... now that I think about it, it sounds a lot like capitalism...
Well, that was fun, but never mind that, it seems someone else beat me to the punch. At least its something to think about.
Well, that was fun, but never mind that, it seems someone else beat me to the punch. At least its something to think about.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
The Wire
... Yeah, so I lied about the post title... Get used to it. This post could have been called "ace up my sleeve" in reference to what I am about to explain, but I chose to display a... more realistic and in a less "It was part of the plan all along" sort of attitude.
So I recently finished my last semester, Woo-Hoo, but was quite stupefied to find that when my final grades came in something was dreadfully wrong. My on line transcript showed that I had met all of the requirements for graduation that the university had set... except one. Every required course was taken, my gpa was good, my major, minor, and concentration were complete, but somehow I had 119 credits (technically 137, but 18 of them do not count towards my "graduating credits"). University standard says that they do not award bachelors degrees without confirmed completion of a minimum of 120 graduating credits. This was a shock as I had done the math the semester beforehand to insure that I would in fact have everything covered, but somehow I ended up 3 credits behind where I had projected.
After sending emails to all the people I could, I ended up calculating that one of my classes last semester did not count towards my final graduating credit number... And there was nothing I could do about it.
Hahaha, luckily someone up there likes me, as I was able to do a last minute transfer of my high school AP credits (oh yeah, forgot about those) towards the completion of my current degree.
But get this, the diploma gets signed on the 3rd of Jan, 09, my credit transfer is completed on the 8th of Jan, 09, and my diploma ships home between the 20th of Feb and the 5th of Mar. It will never cease to astound and perplex me as to how such things work...
The best part is, after going in and talking with people from almost every department on campus, I have found that the english department has already sent my graduation approval through (haha, I knew I liked them, they will let me graduate without meeting the requirements) and the department of the registrar will postemptively approve my diploma somehow after the credits finish transferring. It makes no sense to me, but I'm just glad it was able to work out. It would have totally sucked to not graduate because EVERY requirement was met except 1 credit hour of class. But I could not have done it without the awesome people in the english department, especially the councilor who has answered my emails multiple times each day for the past two weeks including weekends.
So if it weren't official before, now it is, I will have a degree sometime between feb and mar.
Woot!
So I recently finished my last semester, Woo-Hoo, but was quite stupefied to find that when my final grades came in something was dreadfully wrong. My on line transcript showed that I had met all of the requirements for graduation that the university had set... except one. Every required course was taken, my gpa was good, my major, minor, and concentration were complete, but somehow I had 119 credits (technically 137, but 18 of them do not count towards my "graduating credits"). University standard says that they do not award bachelors degrees without confirmed completion of a minimum of 120 graduating credits. This was a shock as I had done the math the semester beforehand to insure that I would in fact have everything covered, but somehow I ended up 3 credits behind where I had projected.
After sending emails to all the people I could, I ended up calculating that one of my classes last semester did not count towards my final graduating credit number... And there was nothing I could do about it.
Hahaha, luckily someone up there likes me, as I was able to do a last minute transfer of my high school AP credits (oh yeah, forgot about those) towards the completion of my current degree.
But get this, the diploma gets signed on the 3rd of Jan, 09, my credit transfer is completed on the 8th of Jan, 09, and my diploma ships home between the 20th of Feb and the 5th of Mar. It will never cease to astound and perplex me as to how such things work...
The best part is, after going in and talking with people from almost every department on campus, I have found that the english department has already sent my graduation approval through (haha, I knew I liked them, they will let me graduate without meeting the requirements) and the department of the registrar will postemptively approve my diploma somehow after the credits finish transferring. It makes no sense to me, but I'm just glad it was able to work out. It would have totally sucked to not graduate because EVERY requirement was met except 1 credit hour of class. But I could not have done it without the awesome people in the english department, especially the councilor who has answered my emails multiple times each day for the past two weeks including weekends.
So if it weren't official before, now it is, I will have a degree sometime between feb and mar.
Woot!
The Space Between
... Yeah, thats right, this post is filler. I have a huge story to tell, but since currently I am 'in medias res' I cannot tell it in full. But when I do... Yeah... We will all have a good laugh... Then maybe cry a little, then laugh some more. My hope is that when I write the next post (Ace Up My Sleeve) I will have a happy ending to report...
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Blast from the Past
I got a letter in the mail today addressed to Marion. Not remembering that name (as it is not one that the people who regularly receive our accidental mail have) I asked about it. Apparently I have stumbled upon the joke that keeps on giving. Years ago my grandfather decided to use the name Marion as a joke and test to figure out where he was getting spam mail from. He used the name on an "anonymous" survey to see if it was in fact those very surveys that were the source of his getting more and more junk mail. As it turns out he was right. He chose the name Marion because it was so unusual and obscure that it would be, beyond a doubt, that this was his doing and not just a mis sent letter. Today a letter came to Marion concerning Medicare benefits, apparently we receive mail for Marion on a regular if not weekly basis. It's been almost 9 years now since Grandfather passed away, but Marion is still going strong... and is eligible for medicare!
Get this though, apparently the name Marion is both male and female, and comes through the french to the english. It was originally a form of the name Mary as in the mother mary, and means star of the sea. Now the real cool fact is, its used in less than 1/1000 cases and best of all it was John Wayne's real first name (Marion Morrison). The things you learn, and the impressions you leave are certainly amazing.
Get this though, apparently the name Marion is both male and female, and comes through the french to the english. It was originally a form of the name Mary as in the mother mary, and means star of the sea. Now the real cool fact is, its used in less than 1/1000 cases and best of all it was John Wayne's real first name (Marion Morrison). The things you learn, and the impressions you leave are certainly amazing.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
The Medieval Connection
It's bee a while since I put up a good thread on jokes and such. Well, I've done my research this time and have found a use for my medieval studies. No, really, I'm serious... fine don't believe me. I'll prove it to you. First we shall start with the tapestries... And castles and relics and such...
In my pursuit of the Holy Grail... Err.. I mean medieval literature, I had to download and study the entirety of the Bayeux Tapestry. It was my delight to find that common internet memes have since been recorded therein. As proof I present the following:
This represents the classic "There are no girls on the internet" ideology.
This represents the common phrase "I would hit that."
This is a parody on the "Milk Shake" song.
And last this, being my favorite, just makes fun of some of the stitching.
Now of course the tapestry is of great historical significance and intrinsic value since it was woven by the subjugated English women by order of the new Norman aristocracy to chronicle the Norman invasion and capture of the British Isles. Quite fascinating if I do say so myself. That and very very long...
... and here's something for the ninjas in my audience...
... Oh, and for those of you who are Sci-fi or Bruce Campbell fans, Klaatu Barada Nikto is the phrase to know.
In my pursuit of the Holy Grail... Err.. I mean medieval literature, I had to download and study the entirety of the Bayeux Tapestry. It was my delight to find that common internet memes have since been recorded therein. As proof I present the following:
This represents the classic "There are no girls on the internet" ideology.
This represents the common phrase "I would hit that."
This is a parody on the "Milk Shake" song.
And last this, being my favorite, just makes fun of some of the stitching.
Now of course the tapestry is of great historical significance and intrinsic value since it was woven by the subjugated English women by order of the new Norman aristocracy to chronicle the Norman invasion and capture of the British Isles. Quite fascinating if I do say so myself. That and very very long...
... and here's something for the ninjas in my audience...
... Oh, and for those of you who are Sci-fi or Bruce Campbell fans, Klaatu Barada Nikto is the phrase to know.
Monday, December 15, 2008
The Darkness before the Dawn
Last night I did what I traditionally do on school nights... not do my homework but rather go out on a walk. But last night was different as it was my last walk as a procrastinating undergraduate. In the morning I finished my paper (41 pages of text, woot) and presented it today. Afterwards I went to see my medieval lit teachers before bidding the campus an undergraduate ado. To my surprise the teacher whose classes I only ever got C's (five classes, two C+'s one C- and three two C's) recommended that I consider teaching and come back for a graduate degree some day. This was amazing, and quite the complement. Now I sit at home, pondering my various employment opportunities with an engrish degree... right... well... yeah... Well in an unrelated event my friends are cooking steak for dinner that I shall be joining in on in just a few hours... I love you guys.
So a now as an unofficial graduate, hear my words of wisdom...
Peace Y'all, I'm out
So a now as an unofficial graduate, hear my words of wisdom...
Peace Y'all, I'm out
Saturday, December 13, 2008
The Sickness and the Fever
I may have ranted about this before, but I find it hard to get over. Somehow being sick always sounds more fun than it is. All week I have been fighting off some uber-cold that my family has been passing around and I thought I had made it... until last night. And as fascinating as it is to be able to feel each of my individual teeth and every movement of my eyes, and every sound as a new and wonderful sensation of pain, I would rather just take them all for granted. This is probably the worst sinus infection-esque illness I have ever had. In the past day I have gone through an entire tissue box and am still counting. My hope is that since I am ever so doped up on vitamin C that it will hopefully win out eventually... That or I'll die from hypervitaminosis C. I guess the upside is that since I have called out for work I now have more time to finish the final project due monday. But as you can see, I'd rather work on other things at the moment.
But as I ponder the situation I wonder if this procrastination is something more. After I finish this class I will be a state sanctioned guardian of language and culture... Id est, a graduate with a degree in English. Not just English though, as my concentration is in medieval and renaissance literature and my minor in folklore and mythology. One may think to themselves, "As if a degree in English was not useless enough" as it would appear I have found a degree that is somehow even less applicable to real life than just a degree in English would be. But, allow me this, I shall defend myself in this choice, and guess what... You can't stop me... unless you stop reading, but lets not make this personal shall we?.. Medieval lit is just fascinating, granted I will admit that that part of my degree is... less applicable to real life, than any other concentration in English might be. Folklore and Mythology however is quite applicable as it is very much like Anthropology... Well, let's say the modern sort of anthropology. Mythology is a study of how people sought to explain the world around them, and interact with it and others in the way they saw as correct. Folklore is the screen on which the movie of life plays, it is always present and you see it every day, but rarely do people look just below the surface to see it. Folklore is that joke that people pass around the office, its how you arrange your desk at home, its the words you use when you talk with your friends and family, it is even the cloths you wear... the matrix is all around you... Er... sorry, wrong movie. Thus although I studied english and myth, I actually studied people, how they explain the world around them, how they interact with others, and how they think and feel and have felt over the ages.
That is why I studied what I have... and now that I have rambled on and on while I could have been placing the final piece into the puzzle that is this step of my life, I shall consider beginning the last step.
For all of you out there who have never been here let me give you some insight, it feels like flying... not like arms open wide through the clouds stuff, but rather college was like waiting in the airport, standing in line, getting scanned and poked and removing your shoes, and then senior year was like sitting on the plane, waiting for something to happen, and slowly getting strapped in, that is preparing for real life. Getting the security net prepared for job and insurance and living and eating, much like putting your tray table up and your seat belt on, all in all they will not help you if the plane slams into the ground or any other object other than air. But as I sit here, putting my seat in the proper upright position, I can now hear the engines spooling up and the cabin pressure changing, and now I am being pushed back into my seat, out of control of my destination or personal safety, but going nonetheless. Once I make it off the ground I'll find another over exaggerated simile to describe how that feels. :)
-later
But as I ponder the situation I wonder if this procrastination is something more. After I finish this class I will be a state sanctioned guardian of language and culture... Id est, a graduate with a degree in English. Not just English though, as my concentration is in medieval and renaissance literature and my minor in folklore and mythology. One may think to themselves, "As if a degree in English was not useless enough" as it would appear I have found a degree that is somehow even less applicable to real life than just a degree in English would be. But, allow me this, I shall defend myself in this choice, and guess what... You can't stop me... unless you stop reading, but lets not make this personal shall we?.. Medieval lit is just fascinating, granted I will admit that that part of my degree is... less applicable to real life, than any other concentration in English might be. Folklore and Mythology however is quite applicable as it is very much like Anthropology... Well, let's say the modern sort of anthropology. Mythology is a study of how people sought to explain the world around them, and interact with it and others in the way they saw as correct. Folklore is the screen on which the movie of life plays, it is always present and you see it every day, but rarely do people look just below the surface to see it. Folklore is that joke that people pass around the office, its how you arrange your desk at home, its the words you use when you talk with your friends and family, it is even the cloths you wear... the matrix is all around you... Er... sorry, wrong movie. Thus although I studied english and myth, I actually studied people, how they explain the world around them, how they interact with others, and how they think and feel and have felt over the ages.
That is why I studied what I have... and now that I have rambled on and on while I could have been placing the final piece into the puzzle that is this step of my life, I shall consider beginning the last step.
For all of you out there who have never been here let me give you some insight, it feels like flying... not like arms open wide through the clouds stuff, but rather college was like waiting in the airport, standing in line, getting scanned and poked and removing your shoes, and then senior year was like sitting on the plane, waiting for something to happen, and slowly getting strapped in, that is preparing for real life. Getting the security net prepared for job and insurance and living and eating, much like putting your tray table up and your seat belt on, all in all they will not help you if the plane slams into the ground or any other object other than air. But as I sit here, putting my seat in the proper upright position, I can now hear the engines spooling up and the cabin pressure changing, and now I am being pushed back into my seat, out of control of my destination or personal safety, but going nonetheless. Once I make it off the ground I'll find another over exaggerated simile to describe how that feels. :)
-later
Friday, December 12, 2008
Too Many Posts
I have been noticing that on some days several of my fellow bloggers will post two, three, or more posts in a single day, all are short and singly pointed. Now I petition you please just write these things down and save them in a draft rather than publishing multiple posts per day. I find trying to follow such rampant posting tiring at best as I have to hunt through the change log of my subscriptions to find five posts in the past day by two people all within hours or even minutes of each other. This is my chosen rant for today. Perhaps it is a style thing, maybe I am doing it wrong by actually drafting posts, or by including more than a paragraph's worth of topics and information. Maybe its the starving and neglected English major side of me but please folks. Then again I suppose you can do what you will, just know that if you have anything you actually hope for people to read on a casual basis it should not be hidden in a thousand little posts. Though I suppose the disadvantage of not posting individual and disassociated paragraphs as posts does make finding small snippets of information more difficult... but only if they are labeled in such a way as to make them that way. Or if your readers obsessively read your blog every hour than I suppose that also works. Just a warning though, dance to your own beat but do not forget to try to meet the reader half way, otherwise you are preaching to a deaf audience. It is a writer's duty to aid the reader in seeing, feeling, and understanding what is written, this does not mean that you must be like all the other writers, but rather that in your own way you must help the reader to see and understand what you want them to, otherwise you will loose them, and once lost a reader is a hard thing to regain. Now Length can also become a problem, as people may be discouraged by the daunting task of reading a long post, at which point perhaps it should be split, but a better option may be just to cut it short and write only what needs be written. On that note, I shall take my own advice and bid you ado.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Burning Documents with Dad
It's that time of year again... Now don't try to get ahead of me because you will end up in a different state, province, or jurisdiction. Every winter my family buys several cords of wood. I spent my past Saturdays cutting and organizing said wood (which although is hard work, is quite satisfying in a manly sort of way...). And for the past few weeks we have been running the wood stove to warm the house. This year was slightly different though. As I watched the first fire of the season begin I noticed that instead of newspaper, we used official documents as tinder. I could not help but ask and could barely refrain from making the joke that this pastime would almost qualify my father for government office the way things have been going recently. But as it turns out my family is super anal about keeping documents from who knows when. Last I checked we still had my grandfather's bank records, and he has been dead since 2000. As it turns out we were not burning anything that mattered, some of my father's bank records from when he was a teenager, back when they posted your SSN on the documents, so to protect his identity we were burning them... that and who needs 30 year old bank statements. Still good for a laugh though as you realize that what your tossing into the fire was a legal document at one point in time.
... Well, I'm off to start a fire... Maybe today I'll find old employment histories...
... Well, I'm off to start a fire... Maybe today I'll find old employment histories...
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Playing Movies
... Broke up a fight, cleaned up broken glass, taught three people how to run A.V. equipment and directed five people's actions for several hours... thats right, I helped in a children's play. Personally I dislike this time of year for that, granted I make bank on all the special productions and extra hours, but its a lot of work for what it's worth.
Today I got approval from one of my accomplices for access to the projection booth in the theater. That was cool, I like having that inside contact wherever I go. Learning how the spooling of movies works is fascinating, and totally worth checking out. Also I learned that the reel is projected at 24 frames / second which totally surprised me, since I expected the standard 60 hz or more that is standard for monitor and television projection.
Well, more to come later I guess, sorry for not including cool links and stuff, just been busy.
Today I got approval from one of my accomplices for access to the projection booth in the theater. That was cool, I like having that inside contact wherever I go. Learning how the spooling of movies works is fascinating, and totally worth checking out. Also I learned that the reel is projected at 24 frames / second which totally surprised me, since I expected the standard 60 hz or more that is standard for monitor and television projection.
Well, more to come later I guess, sorry for not including cool links and stuff, just been busy.
Friday, December 5, 2008
When the rules no longer apply...
... Eat Cake!
... Make Lemonade!
... Throw a Party!
... Make New Rules!
... Play Ninepins!
Well, did the Indiana Jones thing, and it worked quite well if I do say so myself. Only one other person was privy to my plan (the guy on the computer who ran the sound and put up the poster) and I did not clear any of it with anyone. I began with a casual English Major joke ("I have no idea what I'm doing after I graduate, I guess that's what you get with an English degree") and then proceeded to explain that there could not be a "Last Crusade" without Indiana Jones, so I queued up the music, had them throw up the poster on the big screen, and like superman, in a whirlwind threw on my affects for effect (hat, jacket, whip, grail, crooked smile, and all). It went great, I then spent the next five minutes talking about "A Rebel's Guide to Leaving a Legacy" (which somehow I always want to say is "The Rebel's Guide to the Galaxy"). It went great, I lectured on community, people, leaving a legacy, and group involvement, and everyone loved it. The reason the rules do not apply is because afterwords and for the next half hour people came up to me to tell me how awesome it was and how what I said and the way I said it encouraged them to get involved. In this stream of people was the now retired MC who warned me that every time he improvised anything the administration jumped on him for it, and so I should avoid them. However when I confronted them about it, and apologized for finally abusing my powers as the head tech guy (and for inciting all my lackeys to be my accomplices... aware or not of what I had planned) to which they all congratulated me and thanked me for it and also expressed the sentiment that it was just plain awesome. So what do you do when the rules no longer apply, or even better question, what do you do when you are dealing with dangerous people like me who have absolute control over everything technical and necessary, including some aspects of setup, and could if I wanted make sure nothing worked? Its risky to have people like that even exist, that's a lot of power for one person to have.
After all was said and done, I must say it was hard to go, but at the same time so relieving that after over 3 years of work I no longer have to deal with that responsibility. Responsibility is such a weighty thing. It is hard to carry one so large for so long.
... Make Lemonade!
... Throw a Party!
... Make New Rules!
... Play Ninepins!
Well, did the Indiana Jones thing, and it worked quite well if I do say so myself. Only one other person was privy to my plan (the guy on the computer who ran the sound and put up the poster) and I did not clear any of it with anyone. I began with a casual English Major joke ("I have no idea what I'm doing after I graduate, I guess that's what you get with an English degree") and then proceeded to explain that there could not be a "Last Crusade" without Indiana Jones, so I queued up the music, had them throw up the poster on the big screen, and like superman, in a whirlwind threw on my affects for effect (hat, jacket, whip, grail, crooked smile, and all). It went great, I then spent the next five minutes talking about "A Rebel's Guide to Leaving a Legacy" (which somehow I always want to say is "The Rebel's Guide to the Galaxy"). It went great, I lectured on community, people, leaving a legacy, and group involvement, and everyone loved it. The reason the rules do not apply is because afterwords and for the next half hour people came up to me to tell me how awesome it was and how what I said and the way I said it encouraged them to get involved. In this stream of people was the now retired MC who warned me that every time he improvised anything the administration jumped on him for it, and so I should avoid them. However when I confronted them about it, and apologized for finally abusing my powers as the head tech guy (and for inciting all my lackeys to be my accomplices... aware or not of what I had planned) to which they all congratulated me and thanked me for it and also expressed the sentiment that it was just plain awesome. So what do you do when the rules no longer apply, or even better question, what do you do when you are dealing with dangerous people like me who have absolute control over everything technical and necessary, including some aspects of setup, and could if I wanted make sure nothing worked? Its risky to have people like that even exist, that's a lot of power for one person to have.
After all was said and done, I must say it was hard to go, but at the same time so relieving that after over 3 years of work I no longer have to deal with that responsibility. Responsibility is such a weighty thing. It is hard to carry one so large for so long.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
The Greatest Idea EVER
... Really it is I promise... Even better than the last one, just hear me out. So tonight is the last Cru. of the semester (Campus Crusade for Christ) where I have been the sound guy for... about 3.5 years now. So since it is the last Crusade, I have a plan... see I got an idea... An awful idea... I got a wonderful awful idea. As some of you may know I have been considering getting a fedora for some time now... and for my birthday my father found a renaissance festival grail... and I have a whip, and a leather jacket... See where I'm going with this yet? (funny thing is I was just talking about that guy with a friend earlier today... and being like that guy)
So here's my plan. First know that I shaved on Tuesday, so I have a decent four-o'-clock shadow coming in, should reach five by tomorrow. I have acquired the Indiana Jones song and have removed all of the audio source data from the file and re-named the track "Special Music." I plan to wear an off white button up shirt, and camel colored Khaki pants, along with my leather jacket. I will bring the whip and the goblet and hide them on stage, and spend the early part of my day in the mall getting myself a Christmas present... i.e. the hat. Then when I go up to speak (I'm a graduating senior so I get mic time... and they have asked me to say something since I've been there so long) I'll point and wink at the computer guy who I will have given the sound track to and told not to screen, so he will play it as I reach behind the speaker and grab my... effects. See, it is awesome because it is "Dave, and the Last Crusade" how can you beat that? It shall live on in infamy forever... or something like that.
Yeah, I'm that cool... ;)
If pictures get taken I'll upload them via the "Stalking for Dummies" service that is Facebook. Now it's off to bed to prepare for a day of shopping and... last crusading...
So here's my plan. First know that I shaved on Tuesday, so I have a decent four-o'-clock shadow coming in, should reach five by tomorrow. I have acquired the Indiana Jones song and have removed all of the audio source data from the file and re-named the track "Special Music." I plan to wear an off white button up shirt, and camel colored Khaki pants, along with my leather jacket. I will bring the whip and the goblet and hide them on stage, and spend the early part of my day in the mall getting myself a Christmas present... i.e. the hat. Then when I go up to speak (I'm a graduating senior so I get mic time... and they have asked me to say something since I've been there so long) I'll point and wink at the computer guy who I will have given the sound track to and told not to screen, so he will play it as I reach behind the speaker and grab my... effects. See, it is awesome because it is "Dave, and the Last Crusade" how can you beat that? It shall live on in infamy forever... or something like that.
Yeah, I'm that cool... ;)
If pictures get taken I'll upload them via the "Stalking for Dummies" service that is Facebook. Now it's off to bed to prepare for a day of shopping and... last crusading...
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
There's never a wish better than this
Well, its about time for me to say goodbye to most of the people I know and love and hello to the real world. Standing on the edge as I am I have so many things to fear and worry about. But at the same time there is a calm assurance that no matter what I do, and no matter what happens that I cannot control, things will work out. I say this now, probably mere weeks before I am homeless, jobless and still relationship-less. But this is just the beginning of the journey. My one foot is steadfast on the doorstep of my house and my other foot hovers above the road I have yet to travel.
Times like these make me wonder both what I have to look forward to, and what I have to look back on. From this point on, what relationships will continue, which will cease, who will I need and who will need me? Its times like these that I cant help but focus on the romantic, it has been years since I have been in a relationship, and now many of my friends are married or engaged. It makes me feel old, but a different old. Its not the old I feel when I go out to eat with friends and they tell the cute waitress that I am bald, its not the old I feel when I look around campus and see highschoolers who don't seem to know a compound from a complex sentence, or even the importance of consistent verb tense, heck many of them have probably just recently learned to tie their own emotional and emotional shoes. But they will learn and they will grow and one day they will be old too.
What is it to be eternally young? Were the greek gods real what would eternal life mean? Life holds meaning because in it is the certainty that one day it will end. Such a knowledge gives our actions lasting meaning and purpose, since we may only have the chance to take action once.
I suppose it is something like new years eve. I stand here alone watching the ball drop and wondering about the year gone by, more than the year to come. Did I take advantage of things that would benefit me, or let them pass due to some sort of self-loathing destructive mania. Did I help the people who were within my power to affect, could I have done more? I guess its times like these that you begin to question fate, did I simply do what I had to do, or did I choose to do all that I could have?
Well, I have to break the mood here, can't post and only be depressing and introspective. So recently I have been thinking about going out and getting a trench coat and a fedora to begin my transition to the full time working world. I often have found that the inclusion of a different article of clothing helps transition the mindset to one more fitting of the current attire. For example, my senior year of college I began wearing jeans and t-shirts... because I could and I'm a senior... when I'm not wearing collared button up shirts and dress slacks.
On a related note It seems to me that I get more respect and positive attention when I shave my beard. Several times now I have found that a cleanly shaved face has lead to more general complements and kindness from those I do not know, just an odd aspect of life which may or may not actually be true that I have recently caught on to.
Something I have been mulling over for a few days now that I think could make a good quote goes something like this:
"When you write, whatever you write, think of it as an argument between you and the reader. In that understand that the reader is both judge and jury, so make your writing good enough the first time."
It still needs a lot of work, but it sounds like it has promise. Well, at some point I need to go to bed so I can get up for my last day of real college classes what may be ever... but with my keen psychic spider senses, I feel that I will return one day, a grub may only be separated from a flame for so long before it grows wings and flies to its own doom.
Of all the game intros I have ever seen, this one still ranks as the best, check it out. But then again this character creation is probably the most innovative I have ever seen... Gotta love that your father is a ninja jedi... Then again who can resist Jean Luc Picard. Sorry, they just bring a tear to my eye.....
Love,
- Dave
Times like these make me wonder both what I have to look forward to, and what I have to look back on. From this point on, what relationships will continue, which will cease, who will I need and who will need me? Its times like these that I cant help but focus on the romantic, it has been years since I have been in a relationship, and now many of my friends are married or engaged. It makes me feel old, but a different old. Its not the old I feel when I go out to eat with friends and they tell the cute waitress that I am bald, its not the old I feel when I look around campus and see highschoolers who don't seem to know a compound from a complex sentence, or even the importance of consistent verb tense, heck many of them have probably just recently learned to tie their own emotional and emotional shoes. But they will learn and they will grow and one day they will be old too.
What is it to be eternally young? Were the greek gods real what would eternal life mean? Life holds meaning because in it is the certainty that one day it will end. Such a knowledge gives our actions lasting meaning and purpose, since we may only have the chance to take action once.
I suppose it is something like new years eve. I stand here alone watching the ball drop and wondering about the year gone by, more than the year to come. Did I take advantage of things that would benefit me, or let them pass due to some sort of self-loathing destructive mania. Did I help the people who were within my power to affect, could I have done more? I guess its times like these that you begin to question fate, did I simply do what I had to do, or did I choose to do all that I could have?
Well, I have to break the mood here, can't post and only be depressing and introspective. So recently I have been thinking about going out and getting a trench coat and a fedora to begin my transition to the full time working world. I often have found that the inclusion of a different article of clothing helps transition the mindset to one more fitting of the current attire. For example, my senior year of college I began wearing jeans and t-shirts... because I could and I'm a senior... when I'm not wearing collared button up shirts and dress slacks.
On a related note It seems to me that I get more respect and positive attention when I shave my beard. Several times now I have found that a cleanly shaved face has lead to more general complements and kindness from those I do not know, just an odd aspect of life which may or may not actually be true that I have recently caught on to.
Something I have been mulling over for a few days now that I think could make a good quote goes something like this:
"When you write, whatever you write, think of it as an argument between you and the reader. In that understand that the reader is both judge and jury, so make your writing good enough the first time."
It still needs a lot of work, but it sounds like it has promise. Well, at some point I need to go to bed so I can get up for my last day of real college classes what may be ever... but with my keen psychic spider senses, I feel that I will return one day, a grub may only be separated from a flame for so long before it grows wings and flies to its own doom.
Of all the game intros I have ever seen, this one still ranks as the best, check it out. But then again this character creation is probably the most innovative I have ever seen... Gotta love that your father is a ninja jedi... Then again who can resist Jean Luc Picard. Sorry, they just bring a tear to my eye..
Love,
- Dave
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