Times like these make me wonder both what I have to look forward to, and what I have to look back on. From this point on, what relationships will continue, which will cease, who will I need and who will need me? Its times like these that I cant help but focus on the romantic, it has been years since I have been in a relationship, and now many of my friends are married or engaged. It makes me feel old, but a different old. Its not the old I feel when I go out to eat with friends and they tell the cute waitress that I am bald, its not the old I feel when I look around campus and see highschoolers who don't seem to know a compound from a complex sentence, or even the importance of consistent verb tense, heck many of them have probably just recently learned to tie their own emotional and emotional shoes. But they will learn and they will grow and one day they will be old too.
What is it to be eternally young? Were the greek gods real what would eternal life mean? Life holds meaning because in it is the certainty that one day it will end. Such a knowledge gives our actions lasting meaning and purpose, since we may only have the chance to take action once.
I suppose it is something like new years eve. I stand here alone watching the ball drop and wondering about the year gone by, more than the year to come. Did I take advantage of things that would benefit me, or let them pass due to some sort of self-loathing destructive mania. Did I help the people who were within my power to affect, could I have done more? I guess its times like these that you begin to question fate, did I simply do what I had to do, or did I choose to do all that I could have?
Well, I have to break the mood here, can't post and only be depressing and introspective. So recently I have been thinking about going out and getting a trench coat and a fedora to begin my transition to the full time working world. I often have found that the inclusion of a different article of clothing helps transition the mindset to one more fitting of the current attire. For example, my senior year of college I began wearing jeans and t-shirts... because I could and I'm a senior... when I'm not wearing collared button up shirts and dress slacks.
On a related note It seems to me that I get more respect and positive attention when I shave my beard. Several times now I have found that a cleanly shaved face has lead to more general complements and kindness from those I do not know, just an odd aspect of life which may or may not actually be true that I have recently caught on to.
Something I have been mulling over for a few days now that I think could make a good quote goes something like this:
"When you write, whatever you write, think of it as an argument between you and the reader. In that understand that the reader is both judge and jury, so make your writing good enough the first time."
It still needs a lot of work, but it sounds like it has promise. Well, at some point I need to go to bed so I can get up for my last day of real college classes what may be ever... but with my keen psychic spider senses, I feel that I will return one day, a grub may only be separated from a flame for so long before it grows wings and flies to its own doom.
Of all the game intros I have ever seen, this one still ranks as the best, check it out. But then again this character creation is probably the most innovative I have ever seen... Gotta love that your father is a ninja jedi... Then again who can resist Jean Luc Picard. Sorry, they just bring a tear to my eye..
Love,
- Dave
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