About

time to get some things straight:

About me:

I am only the pretentious jerk-ass the first few times I meet a person. Not when on dates, or not-dates or kinda-dates or formal-dates. I save my jerk-y-ness for personal non-romantic encounters that do not involve dressing up, eating food served by waiters/waitresses. I do not try to scare off dates or potential dates, only potential friends. See first people are strangers, at which time I am a jerk, then if they get past that stage they become acquaintances. During this stage I am still reasonably quiet and harsh, and only speak when I have something good to say (probably why so many people think I'm smart). If they prove themselves of worth to my personal enrichment, mentally, physically, emotionally, or social networking wise, and they show an interest and time investment, then they may become friends at which point I treat each one differently according to how I perceive their personality types to be. Here I am no longer a jerk unless the person warrants such behavior. After the friend stage start the circles of inner trust at which point I share my true life and feelings with people, my thoughts and dreams and burdens and sorrows (generically in that order). Potential dates take a similar yet different path after the friend stage at which point they begin the observation process for an extended period of time. So as you can see, I really am not a jerk to those I date (yet still get stood up and go on more first dates than second dates). But as they say, nice guys finish last, which I really can't argue with and as you know, I am not a nice guy. I just hope that some day some girl will pity me enough to put up with me and be willing to share her life with me.

About me about you:

I want to be your hero. All of you. I wish I could save the day, be a friend but be the one there by your side when you ride off into the sunset, all the evil of your life defeated. I wish I could be there to encourage all of you when you are down. I wish I could protect you from harm, make you smile, and laugh with you. I wish all the problems would go away. I personally feel better when I help people, and there are no other people I'd rather see happy than my friends. But, I need to learn that there are some things you must do on your own, and some things I can't do for you. (KotOR 2 taught me that in helping you, I become stronger and you gain nothing, there are some things in which you must gain your own strength to overcome.) I don't do this because I want to be the hero you look up to, but rather because it hurts me to see you hurt. I do not ask anything in exchange, but I hope you will be there for me when I need you.

About you about me:

Will you be my hero? Will you go out of your way to contact me and make sure I'm doing well. Or will you forget me, only to remember me when I am beyond the help that you can give? I am weak, and I am defeated. Every day is a struggle with myself even before my fight with the world begins. I am strong because He is strong and I can love because He is love. My own strength has failed and my limit for how much I can forgive and how far my love stretches has run out. But beyond myself, I am still strong, I still love, and I still am.

About you about you:

You have to write this one, I don't know how you see you...

About me about me:

... if you only are kind to me because I have been kind to you, if you will only consider me because I have considered you, and if you only care for me because I have cared for you, then you do not love me as I love you. For I will be kind to you when you are not kind to me, I will consider you when you do not consider me, I will care for you when you do not care for me and I will choose to love you even if I have no good reason to. This is how I love you, and I do not want your kindness, your consideration, your care or your love if it is conditional and only based on what I can give back to you. I want your love unconditionally, nothing else will do. I don't want you to change yourself because you feel that you owe me, but rather that you owe me because you yourself have changed and there is nothing I have done to deserve it.