Bah! Uga! Guah! Nangun! Argh... Hahahaha. Don't you just love the way things work out. Hahahaha. This joke needs some background before you too will find it funny. So here we go.
So, I have a very (and I mean extremely) selective process by which I determine dating eligibility in others. This screening process often takes months of intensive study. I analyze a person's personality type, choices in life, skills, likes, dislikes, reaction time, humor quotient, intelligence, problem solving methods, hobbies, and motivations before putting them on my "datable" list. My standards would seem to be reasonably high as it is rare for me to find a person who actually ranks in with positive scores in all categories, which is necessary to get on the list. In the past few months there have been a total of three people who have recently been added to this list, but as fate would have it, it is not to be.
So the first one is basically my clone, but... she is too busy and I have not even met her in person yet... so that one's out until further notice. The second one is quirky, kind and gentle, but also as I found out recently, secretly taken. The third is a supplement to myself, similar yet different, like a different phase of the same elementary unit, but, just like the others, is now mysteriously taken... And then there were none... Bah, what happened. As recent as last week, heck even a few days ago these three were on the table, and talking about them in a public forum like this would seem dangerous, but I am still convinced that no one actually reads this, and even if they did they wouldn't because they are not interested in bad internet literature.
I guess I shall continue my search for a lifemate. Why does it have to be so hard (and depressing). I guess it could have something to do with how it takes me months to determine eligibility whereas the rampallians (id est: the low intelligence football playing portion of the male population) are drunk or just plain foolish enough to ask a girl out based on her looks within the first day and succeed at it (if you happen to be one of those athletic brickheads I speak of please go here and let the Internet do my job for me. Otherwise WHY ARE YOU READING SOMETHING SO FAR BEYOND YOUR MAXIMUM LEVEL OF UNDERSTANDING)... Sorry, I got carried away. It's just that normally I find that good women get taken by stupid jerk-faces and it depresses me as there are none left.
Well so now you understand the joke, but hey don't worry about paying for it, as it was on me.
Well, happy day-after-groundhogs day. Now go out and do something productive with your day, like sneering at the frat house jerk faces for me... yes... from across the room as they are oblivious to most things not food based, female, or directly within five feet of themselves.
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