Happy?

I have spent the past few days dog-sitting (some of which without internet) and have otherwise been busy. I know this does not fully explain my lack of posting, but it's a start. This past week was happy for me. I say this because I am rarely happy for multiple days. When I say happy I mean smiling all day, in a good mood all day, nothing in my way happy. This far surpasses the normal happy I feel when I see something cool or a joke makes me laugh. This happy lasted all week... until my mind got a hold of my thoughts again. I have been happy because I got a response to a question I had asked. The response itself was not positive, but nor was it negative. In it's confusing entirety I got a response that was lightly negative, but ended with a statement of stagnation with a hint of hope for the future (Thus my post on hope). This non-no had me excited and happy all week (as I have been where this person is and a non-no is really the best I could have hoped for). This was great and even re-enforced by proof that when I saw the person in topic they continued to be a good friend (I somehow always fear that when I ask people out it will offend them, as usually it ends up with them alienating and avoiding me... stupid people relationships are not awkward and invitations to get to know a person better are not scary things... I'm really quite harmless). So this was great, so great in fact that I was a smiling fool all day. But then my mind begins its processes of analysis and I begin to question. Granted I trust this person and their words, but I must examine every angle and possibility, this way I may properly confuse and depress myself (other methods simply are not thorough enough). So now I silently question, I have had non-no's before and requests of relationship degree retention as in this one, and if memory serves, and it usually does, every time was a rejection in disguise, a kind let-down, a hug and a friendly whisper before the poison of the dagger enters the veins... (I'm an English graduate, what do you expect from my writing). So now I will try to turn off my brain, but I will trust in the character of the person. Hopefully they have been and will be dealing honestly with me. And that is all I need to keep hope. And that's the word.

{I got so excited over a non-no... But is that just because of how I chose to see it, it was also a non-yes... or rather a not sure/no/not now/maybe later kind of thing. But is my seeing it as a non-no like seeing the glass half full... am I, -GASP- actually showing signs of becoming less of a "realist"...}