[EDITED]

Okay... so the last post may have contained a bit too much personal truth, and not quite enough creative truth...But if you ever decide to live life without regrets, the best modus operandi is to only make decisions that will never follow you... I have gone back and made the proper changes, and to make up for the current hole in the narrative of my life, I shall provide a creative reenactment in story form for you concerning my personal past. So please make sure your seats and tray-tables are in their proper upright positions, take note of the exits in the front and rear of the auditorium, and set your cellphones to silent so you can enjoy your:

FEATURE PRESENTATION

Once in a magical land there was a singing flying dolphin. This dolphin was named Herbert. Herbert loved to sing and dance while juggling potatoes and riding a unicycle in the fields near his home town of Magicville. One day while Herbert was at the royal ball, he noticed that there was a very beautiful Sea cucumber there who had the magical power of breathing water like a fish, swimming fast, and growing green hair. Herbert fell in love with this magical Sea cucumber, but the evil dragon who ruled the kingdom would have no part of it. The dragon locked up the Sea cucumber in a tall tower and only let her make phone calls for less than an hour on days when the two did not see each other and before 8pm but only after 6pm and never on weekends. But the two soon learned about the secret tunnel system under the castle and often sneaked out to walk through the enchanted forests and often stop to smell each other. Herbert was studying to be a clown and the Sea cucumber was preparing for an advanced degree in the physics of the motion of fish-tales. But the two overcame these differences since Herbert knew that even when he was right, he was wrong, and that the Sea cucumber was good looking, and made him smile. Together they decided to ignore the tyrannical dragon and though time kept them apart they stayed in touch. After the dragon left for vacation, the two started an ostrich farm and lived happily ever after in the small mud hovel that Herbert bought with the earnings from his clowning career as well as his side job as a amateur magician. The end.

Now GET OUT OF MY THEATER!

P.S. it's not guilt tripping if I don't get anything out of it. :P