knowing

Uhhhhh... So... Let me start at the beginning, as that sounds like a good place to start. Today was a reasonably normal day. Half way through though I began to be hit by this feeling. It made me feel alone. I didn't know how to deal with it. First I wanted to get a pack of cigarettes and go wander a city, look for inspiration. It hit me that as much fun as subbing is, now what? I have a degree but I cant sub the rest of my life. And I cant keep treating my life the way I do. If I want happiness and satisfaction, I need to find them. So after deciding that being alone was probably a bad idea, I sent out an open invite. I ended up having a good dinner with the Wolf, then we went to see "I Love You, Man." To start, the previews were great, this summer will be an awesome time for movies. The first half of the movie made me fear that the whole thing would be based off awkward situations and phrases, but luckily it did have a story and didn't rely on that method for the whole movie (I get tired of the new trend of awkward humor... I guess as much as I may mock it, there is something to the good 'ol slapstick humor). However it kinda lacked a good full resolution. Like, it did tie up the main story line, but not all the subplots such as the MARRIAGE that the whole movie surrounded. When I got home I installed my brand spankin' new 1tb hard drive (upon reflection, I suppose that phrase refers to babies). So that meant I had time to kill. So I watched the new movie "Knowing." Not a bad flick, kinda reminded me of the number 27 or whatever that movie was. Good, suspenseful, gave me goosebumps...but... in the end left me disappointed. Were those aliens or angels? His name was not Adam? Tree of life? This movie is good until the end where the main script was lost and a preacher on a good acid trip filled in the last fifteen minutes...


a note to the world (the world being all those things bigger than myself):

I think that you would respect me more If you did not read my complaints, my fears and my failures. But then how terrible am I when compared to you? How weak am I, how fearful, and how lowly? Please see the strength in my weaknesses. See the lies which I share and the truths which I hide and forgive me of them. In not knowing your faults and struggles, I struggle daily to forgive you of yours. I am not perfect, and that is the only way you can have me, so please take me for what I am and help my dreams to come true. Do not mock me for my hopes, or shun me for my faults. Hear me... Hear me. Give me a chance to succeed. Do not discredit me as I walk in the door. Allow my dreams to come true. Please... Please... Please.

Sunday: relatively uneventful, Asile went back to school, I took a good resting nap, did some computer maintenance, then went to dinner. Uneventful EXCEPT that one of my students was working at the restaurant I went to... Awkward... Even more so since I caught her on Friday making out with her boyfriend in the stairwell... Hahahaha.